Well, my due date has come and gone. Christmas was spent unexpectedly at home with our families, but we're still waiting for our favourite Christmas gift to arrive. I have to say that this Christmas I felt more like a kid than I have in years with the anticipation of Baby Burns arrival, but this time I have to keep waiting. I'm trying to be patient, but it's hard because I want to meet him and start this crazy ride started.
Going over due has had it's own interesting ups and downs as well. It's so strange, I feel like I'm letting people down no matter when he's born at this point. Chris only gets 9 days of paid leave to be with me in Edmonton so if baby had been born on his actual due date it would have taken all the financial and work pressure off of the situation. He's a teacher and so we may not have had to use any of his leave days because of the Christmas break. But now, depending on how long we have to stay in the NICU in Edmonton post-surgery we will have to figure out how to manage the loss of pay. After going past the due date I also felt like a lot of people were hoping I'd have a Christmas baby, which didn't happen. And now it feels like if I have baby before January 1st I'll be letting people down who want me to have a New Years baby. A December birthday does give us a tax break, but January gives him an academic advantage... The pressure was starting to get to me and so I had to consciously make an effort to let go of any expectations I was forming about when baby should be born because I can't control the situation anyway. He'll come when he's ready, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am a little worried about how big he's going to be, but that's a very selfish concern, and the odds of him being huge, even though he's late, are not very high since he's been measuring on the small side this entire time anyway.
Thinking back on things it does kind of make sense that he would be late though. The month we conceived was the same month we had begun fertility testing. Without getting into too much detail, it really limited our options for conception that particular month, plus I had been doing ovulation testing and there was really only one day that it could have happened, which was over a week later than it should have been if my cycle followed the normal pattern. So, maybe he's actually coming right on time...
Going over due has had it's own interesting ups and downs as well. It's so strange, I feel like I'm letting people down no matter when he's born at this point. Chris only gets 9 days of paid leave to be with me in Edmonton so if baby had been born on his actual due date it would have taken all the financial and work pressure off of the situation. He's a teacher and so we may not have had to use any of his leave days because of the Christmas break. But now, depending on how long we have to stay in the NICU in Edmonton post-surgery we will have to figure out how to manage the loss of pay. After going past the due date I also felt like a lot of people were hoping I'd have a Christmas baby, which didn't happen. And now it feels like if I have baby before January 1st I'll be letting people down who want me to have a New Years baby. A December birthday does give us a tax break, but January gives him an academic advantage... The pressure was starting to get to me and so I had to consciously make an effort to let go of any expectations I was forming about when baby should be born because I can't control the situation anyway. He'll come when he's ready, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am a little worried about how big he's going to be, but that's a very selfish concern, and the odds of him being huge, even though he's late, are not very high since he's been measuring on the small side this entire time anyway.
Thinking back on things it does kind of make sense that he would be late though. The month we conceived was the same month we had begun fertility testing. Without getting into too much detail, it really limited our options for conception that particular month, plus I had been doing ovulation testing and there was really only one day that it could have happened, which was over a week later than it should have been if my cycle followed the normal pattern. So, maybe he's actually coming right on time...
Pump the Bump
Believe it or not, I'm still getting to the gym! On my due date I decided to run another 10k to try and get things going. I did finish my run, but obviously was not successful in inducing labour. lol. But it's amazing the amount of progress you can make on a particular muscle group in only a week and a half if you really focus it! Because I don't want to damage my core muscles at this point I've opted for lower weight, higher rep work in the weight room and have just been rotating through arms, back, chest, and shoulder workouts. I've actually seen some impressive gains in my biceps and shoulders over the past couple weeks, despite the increasing water retention that's making me look like an Oompa Loompa. I took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off since I wanted to just enjoy time with our families, but you better believe I'll be back in the gym this afternoon! The good thing about being super pregnant over the holidays though is that I physically don't have the room to over eat the way I normally would, and those hormones really help to flush your system in a hurry! lol. Doesn't help with the bloating of course, but at this point, I just have to accept it I think. And honestly, I think Chris and I both did better this year than usual. We enjoyed treats without over-indulging, did our best to keep the "bad food" out of the house, allowed ourselves to have sweets when we were with others, and our families were pretty good about giving us healthier treat options this year anyway. Over all I feel like I got to enjoy the season without the guilt that you're usually left with afterwards. Plus I got to spend a bunch of time at the gym with my mom and dad over the last couple weeks since they're worried that I'm going to go into labour on the treadmill and don't want me to be alone. lol. I love coming from a fit family. Working out together is so much fun!
Believe it or not, I'm still getting to the gym! On my due date I decided to run another 10k to try and get things going. I did finish my run, but obviously was not successful in inducing labour. lol. But it's amazing the amount of progress you can make on a particular muscle group in only a week and a half if you really focus it! Because I don't want to damage my core muscles at this point I've opted for lower weight, higher rep work in the weight room and have just been rotating through arms, back, chest, and shoulder workouts. I've actually seen some impressive gains in my biceps and shoulders over the past couple weeks, despite the increasing water retention that's making me look like an Oompa Loompa. I took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off since I wanted to just enjoy time with our families, but you better believe I'll be back in the gym this afternoon! The good thing about being super pregnant over the holidays though is that I physically don't have the room to over eat the way I normally would, and those hormones really help to flush your system in a hurry! lol. Doesn't help with the bloating of course, but at this point, I just have to accept it I think. And honestly, I think Chris and I both did better this year than usual. We enjoyed treats without over-indulging, did our best to keep the "bad food" out of the house, allowed ourselves to have sweets when we were with others, and our families were pretty good about giving us healthier treat options this year anyway. Over all I feel like I got to enjoy the season without the guilt that you're usually left with afterwards. Plus I got to spend a bunch of time at the gym with my mom and dad over the last couple weeks since they're worried that I'm going to go into labour on the treadmill and don't want me to be alone. lol. I love coming from a fit family. Working out together is so much fun!
Medical Update
On Christmas Eve Chris and I went to my OBGYN appointment. I was nervous about this one because I knew my regular doctor was away, and it was the first time I'd actually be checked for dilation. I'd heard it's really uncomfortable and can be painful, so I was not really looking forward to it. But the OB who saw me was the same doctor I had seen a few weeks ago when my regular OB had been away with the flu, so that was a good start. My blood pressure was great and my uterus is still tiny, measuring only 34.5cm. Baby was squirming like crazy. His heart rate started at a steady 130bpm but then accelerated to 150/160bpm. I asked her if that was ok and she said it was totally fine and that they're only concerned if the heart rate decreases. I have finally gained some more weight and have put on a total of 16lbs (post-Christmas weigh in at home). Then came the scary part... the check. It honestly wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Apparently I'm positioned for delivery but I'm only 50% shortened/effaced and 1cm dilated. She offered me a membrane sweep but I declined since I didn't want to go into labour on Christmas, knowing that my regular medical team was away those two days. Our next fetal assessment is scheduled for Tuesday with an OBGYN appointment and likely induction to be scheduled for the 31st. If we make it that long Chris and I have decided to request one more day and induce on the 1st, but we'll see if we make it that far.
On Christmas Eve Chris and I went to my OBGYN appointment. I was nervous about this one because I knew my regular doctor was away, and it was the first time I'd actually be checked for dilation. I'd heard it's really uncomfortable and can be painful, so I was not really looking forward to it. But the OB who saw me was the same doctor I had seen a few weeks ago when my regular OB had been away with the flu, so that was a good start. My blood pressure was great and my uterus is still tiny, measuring only 34.5cm. Baby was squirming like crazy. His heart rate started at a steady 130bpm but then accelerated to 150/160bpm. I asked her if that was ok and she said it was totally fine and that they're only concerned if the heart rate decreases. I have finally gained some more weight and have put on a total of 16lbs (post-Christmas weigh in at home). Then came the scary part... the check. It honestly wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Apparently I'm positioned for delivery but I'm only 50% shortened/effaced and 1cm dilated. She offered me a membrane sweep but I declined since I didn't want to go into labour on Christmas, knowing that my regular medical team was away those two days. Our next fetal assessment is scheduled for Tuesday with an OBGYN appointment and likely induction to be scheduled for the 31st. If we make it that long Chris and I have decided to request one more day and induce on the 1st, but we'll see if we make it that far.
Bump-Date
Nothing terribly new to report in terms of the bump. It's definitely getting harder to move and I miss being able to see my feet. I definitely have to be a lot more creative when trying to shave my legs and "rolling out of bed" has a whole new meaning to me. That being said, I still feel really good. The heartburn has been gone for about a week now and I'm still able to workout despite going a little slower and lifting a little less. But it's so crazy to think that this really is the last week of pregnancy. With induction either next Thursday or Friday, these are our last few days of being just the two of us.
Pregnancy is hard. Physically it is exhausting. I've been able to maintain a lot of my health and mobility but that's been a combination of an "easy" pregnancy, habit/consistency of lifestyle, and determination. Even for someone with healthy living habits it is HARD to maintain that during pregnancy. Your body is constantly changing and things get harder. You put in as much effort as you used to, or as much as you physically can in that moment, but you're able to do less and less. That's tough. But it's also been draining mentally and emotionally. The changes you go through with a normal pregnancy are hard enough, but then to add on the roller coaster of the Congenital Heart Defect... it's hard to really explain but it really puts you through the wringer when it comes to emotions. But I am so incredibly blessed to have support from so many people.
This past Sunday we went to church with my husband's Nana on the military base. It was a very meaningful experience for me because the entire sermon that week reflected on what it's like to be pregnant during the advent season and the anticipation of birth. The passage they read was from when Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth. They had me read the part of Elizabeth where she tells Mary she knew something exciting was about to happen because her baby leapt within her. It brought me a whole new perspective to the whole Christmas season, my own pregnancy, and gave me a sense of peace that is still with me. My grown-up Christmas wish this year is for a healthy baby. And I would more than gladly give up every single gift for the rest of my life to have that. But I know I've already been blessed to have this little boy who has taught me so much already and I can't wait to meet him.
Merry Christmas from the Burns Family
Luke 2:8-14
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
Nothing terribly new to report in terms of the bump. It's definitely getting harder to move and I miss being able to see my feet. I definitely have to be a lot more creative when trying to shave my legs and "rolling out of bed" has a whole new meaning to me. That being said, I still feel really good. The heartburn has been gone for about a week now and I'm still able to workout despite going a little slower and lifting a little less. But it's so crazy to think that this really is the last week of pregnancy. With induction either next Thursday or Friday, these are our last few days of being just the two of us.
Pregnancy is hard. Physically it is exhausting. I've been able to maintain a lot of my health and mobility but that's been a combination of an "easy" pregnancy, habit/consistency of lifestyle, and determination. Even for someone with healthy living habits it is HARD to maintain that during pregnancy. Your body is constantly changing and things get harder. You put in as much effort as you used to, or as much as you physically can in that moment, but you're able to do less and less. That's tough. But it's also been draining mentally and emotionally. The changes you go through with a normal pregnancy are hard enough, but then to add on the roller coaster of the Congenital Heart Defect... it's hard to really explain but it really puts you through the wringer when it comes to emotions. But I am so incredibly blessed to have support from so many people.
This past Sunday we went to church with my husband's Nana on the military base. It was a very meaningful experience for me because the entire sermon that week reflected on what it's like to be pregnant during the advent season and the anticipation of birth. The passage they read was from when Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth. They had me read the part of Elizabeth where she tells Mary she knew something exciting was about to happen because her baby leapt within her. It brought me a whole new perspective to the whole Christmas season, my own pregnancy, and gave me a sense of peace that is still with me. My grown-up Christmas wish this year is for a healthy baby. And I would more than gladly give up every single gift for the rest of my life to have that. But I know I've already been blessed to have this little boy who has taught me so much already and I can't wait to meet him.
Merry Christmas from the Burns Family
Luke 2:8-14
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”